Relationships go through many seasons, and navigating those can be a challenge. All kinds of issues can come up in our marriages, friendships and within our families. Many of us grapple with adapting to these changes, and ensuring the strength of our relationships endure.
Peta Soorkia is a former pastor who is now a Christian therapeutic life coach, leading a ministry called Empowering You. She recently joined us on 20Twenty to share her insights on how we can get our relationships back on track by navigating the changing seasons of our lives well.
Let God Take the Lead
Peta says our relationships can move from springtime, which we might feel as being new and fresh; to summer which she describes as the fullness of the relationship. But they also move to autumn and even winter, when things can feel stale and when we struggle to know what to do.
‘There are many different areas of our lives that can be compartmentalised,’ says Peta. ‘In Ecclesiastes, the Bible tells us there are different seasons. I think in the workplace there are definitely phases that we go through in relationships and even in our career pathway. We can start in one area and end up in a completely different area.’
Peta has found that as God has led her through a winter season, she has moved to a new dimension in her career. ‘I think the seasons change sometimes as a result of God orchestrating our journey,’ she says. ‘But we know we have a relationship with a big God who is listening to our prayers and standing with us in whatever we’re doing.’
Learn to Forgive
Neuroscience tells us when we look at the brain and it’s functional imaging, that there are actually parts of our brain that can shut down when we fall in love. More specifically it’s the logical areas and the prefrontal lobes, which means we don’t see another person’s faults.
‘Of course as we know in any relationship, particularly marriage,’ says Peta, ‘after a certain time, all of a sudden, the blindfolds come off. You wonder what you’ve done. We can be blinded, and it’s something we need to acknowledge in the first fruits of a marriage or relationship.’
Having personal experience in dealing with difficult relationships, Peta believes it’s vital for Christians to learn to forgive. ‘What I’ve found when I’ve helped other people do this in ministry, or when I’ve done it myself,’ she says, ‘ is there’s a releasing process that happens. There’s a releasing over our lives and there’s a releasing over their lives.’
God Perseveres With Us
Peta believes that something happens in relationships spiritually between God, us and the other person when we choose to forgive. ‘There is a relief in the relationship, and in the relationship with the Lord. It’s important to do it, and let God do the miracles as a result.’
‘God perseveres with us. When our relationships fall down because somebody has done something wrong, it’s important that as Christians we receive that grace from the Lord so that we can overflow it to others.’
Listen to Peta’s full interview on 20Twenty below: