Author: Gina Poirier
Evangelist David Wilkerson once said, “Love is not something you feel. It’s something you do.” Likewise, it’s the things you do (or don’t do) that can make your spouse feel unloved.
This was a hard lesson early in my marriage, and frankly, continues to be one. Even if we’re practising good habits regularly, it is all too easy to derail our relationship by succumbing to bad ones.
After more than twelve years of marriage, we still have our bumps. But we’ve gotten better at identifying our unhealthy patterns, and more importantly, repenting from them.
If I were to give my younger married self advice, I’d say to watch out for the 6 bad marriage habits I’ll explain below…
6 Bad Habits That Will Seriously Harm Your Marriage
1. Selfish Demands
It’s natural to want to be loved in your marriage. And it’s good to communicate how you want to be loved, via your love language or other personal needs.
However, it’s all too easy for a humble request to slip into becoming a selfish demand.
My weakness is to disguise my demands as whiny guilt trips or passive-aggressive manipulation. There’s a reason Proverbs warns more than once about the nagging wife and how she tears down her husband quickly.
If your husband seems to shut down or fight back when you try to share your needs with him, consider how you’re communicating. Are you demanding or manipulative? If you’re not sure, ask him, or get an outside opinion.
Likewise, if you feel like he’s too demanding of you, try to communicate with him without snapping back.
Learning how to communicate in healthier ways with one another is a process (we’re definitely still learning it!). But if you can hamper the habit of making selfish demands, you will save yourselves a lot of hurts.