Dave and Ashley Willis joined us on Rise and Shine this week to share their thoughts and advice on Christian dating for people over 35.
One of the questions they are most often asked is: How do you enter a serious relationship after a lifetime of being single?
Dave says he admires singles who have honoured God and waited for this moment in their lives. “God can bring a great person into your life at the right time, and sometimes a family too. But that can also mean a lot of change all at once. It’s a big thing to go from being single to becoming a husband or wife and perhaps a step parent all at the same time.”
Dave also recommends a podcast by Kate Warman called ‘The Heart of Dating’, as a fantastic resource that is geared towards singles who are a little older.
Ashley continues, “As you and this person are growing in a new relationship, also grow your faith in the Lord. Ask yourself what it looks look like to grow closer to Jesus right now. He will give you the peace you need about what the next steps should be. It can prevent you from making sinful mistakes that cause baggage and pain later on. Do things like serving in church together and reading couples devotions together. These things spark conversations not only about faith, but about your hopes and expectations for your relationship. Every couple needs to have these conversations.”
Dave adds that people become used to doing things a certain way, and it can be difficult to get together later in life.
“You do become accustomed to things being the way that you like them. You need talk about your expectations and what you’re used to in the way you live. This includes things like daily schedules, kids and what it might be like to be a blended family. When you’re a little bit older, you have a lot more wisdom and life experience, and it’s a great opportunity to have deeper conversations talking through all these things.”
Ashley says, “These are really serious topics. Has God has brought you together to get married? I think one of the most important things couples can do is have counselling. Individual counselling as well as as a couple, can help you to make sure you’re making the right decisions.”
Dave continues, “Moving towards marriage is a big step, and Ashley and I have put together a resource to help you prepare for the ‘I do’. It’s a great list of questions for couples to ask each other about faith, parenting, money and all those important things.”
Premarriage.com is for any age or any season of life. It includes an assessment to show you where you’re strong as a couple, and also the things you need to work on. It’s a brilliant tool for couples to engage with before marriage.
Listen to the full message from Dave and Ashley below, of click on the link to check out their premarriage website.