Ashley believes that communication is always key. “We underestimate it sometimes, because we don’t want to confront our flaws, or see them in our spouses. But the truth is, we all have them. It’s actually the little things that can become big things and can grow and create resentment. Honesty is so important. When we hold something in, we eventually blow up and get angry. If there is a concern on your heart, share it. Use “I” statements and communicate your feelings. Ask your spouse if you can talk through the issue. Be honest about what’s really going on.”
Dave continues, “It requires mutual respect. You can’t force your own way. The goal should always be to make the marriage as safe a place as possible to share your feelings. You can acknowledge pride and know that your feelings are not always accurate. The Bible says our hearts can be deceitful. Sometimes what we feel isn’t reflective of the reality, and it takes sensitivity to talk through things. When your spouse is sharing their feelings, listen first and ask a lot of questions. Being open to one another leads to much better conversations. Don’t avoid conversations out of fear, right now is always the time to do the right thing. Just address it with respect and love.”
Ashley says it’s important though not to drop a big truth and then walk out the door to work! And don’t send cryptic text messages. “If you have children, make sure they’re not listening, so you can have a heart to heart. Make this a regular rhythm and practice in your lives. If its a normal part of your routine, you will have space for conversations. Make sure communication is a priority in your life. “
Dave and Ashely’s podcast, Naked Marriage, is available online wherever you get your podcasts, is totally free and they invite anyone to join in and submit their questions.
You can listen to the rest of Dave & Ashley’s Rise and Shine conversation below.