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A Wicked Man Set Free

by | Mon, Feb 24 2020

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John Lawson

It was the last day of school, and ten-year-old John Lawson was excited for the long holidays ahead. The day felt even more special when his father picked him up in his police car. John’s dad was often in the newspapers, making high profile arrests. They’d make bullets and practice at the shooting range together. “I used to think he was like Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry,” John shared.

John’s mother had recently received the bad news that her father was dying, and returned to the UK with his little brother, leaving John and his father in Durban, South Africa, where they’d come looking for a better life.  Little did she know that John’s father had been having an affair, and was planning to abandon his family.

[audio src="https://getmediapoint.com/document/episode/podcast/MDAwMTQ5NzI1NC5tcDM.mp3" /]

“John, you’re a big boy now,” he said when they got home. “You’re ten years old. I want you to be really brave. If it gets dark tonight and I’m not home, take yourself to bed.”

“I was locked inside. And I was brave for about two minutes, and then I cried. I missed my mum. Off he went, and it got dark that evening, and he didn’t come back.”

He didn’t return the next day, or the next. John was locked in his apartment, alone, with no food, for four days, until some family friends broke open the door.

They found me lying on the rug in the living room, very weak, and drifting in and out of consciousness.

From there, John was sent back to the UK, but after his grandparents died, his mother, homeless and penniless, was forced to move back to Glasgow, to what John called “the worst housing estate in Europe”.  He was shocked to see children sniffing glue, and carrying knives.  His mother offered refuge to wives who were being beaten by their husbands, and at that time, the police refused to intervene. “I just saw all this injustice, and deep down, I had this anger and resentment that was growing inside of me, and I began to really hate the police.”

John channelled his anger and resentment into violence, and learned that fighting was something he was good at. In his early 20s, he ran brothels for the Maltese mafia, and worked as a bouncer in nightclubs. All the while, he thought if he could earn the money his family had lacked in his childhood, that would solve all his problems.

When he started working as a bodyguard for wealthy high-flyers like the Rolling Stones, he thought he’d finally made it. But the job was boring and unglamorous, and he still craved more money and excitement. He got connected with some so-called businessmen in those circles, who he says were nothing more than white-collar gangsters. “They would come to scum like me, and my men, and we would be the ones to come and find you if you were stupid enough to have stolen money from them.”

John soon got involved in serious crime, including kidnapping and extortion on an international level. He feels sick whenever he has to think back to those times.

I have so much blood on these filthy hands.

John Lawson
John Lawson (Photo credit: ifawickedman.com)

Thankfully, the police caught him, and threw him in prison. John said this was both the lowest and the highest point of his life. In jail, he made friends with Tony, a Nigerian prisoner who seemed much happier than other inmates. Tony insisted that Jesus had saved him after his life had gone off track. “I said you’ve been in prison too long. What do you want to believe that rubbish for?”

Every Thursday for four months, Tony invited John to Bible study, but he refused to attend, until he realised that the pastor who ran the class brought coffee, cake and biscuits. His plan was to wait until everyone closed their eyes in prayer, then fill his pockets.

“There were twelve other prisoners there that night, murderers and drug dealers and bank robbers, and of course a violent animal like me. But these guys looked so relaxed. they had joy in their hearts, and they handed out some song sheets, and he got a guitar out of a case, and I thought oh no, I can see it now. Hallelujahs and kumbayas. What’s next?”

But when they began, it was passionate, raw, unlike anything he’d imagined. As they sang “Open the eyes of my heart, Lord”, John realised he was going to cry. “The tears started rolling, and I didn’t want them to see me crying. I hid my face behind the song sheet, and I don’t remember much more about that evening, but I cried like a baby.”

The next morning, Tony arrived at his cell door with a Bible. “Tony, I don’t want that rubbish. Thank you,” John said. Tony looked him in the eye, and jabbed his finger at the Book. “Let me tell you,” he said. “This rubbish is the very same thing that changed this rubbish talking to you.”

(Photo credit: ifawickedman.com)

That night, when John opened the Bible for the first time, the page it revealed showed Ezekiel 18:27-32, which begins, “If a wicked man turns away from the wickedness that he has committed, and if he does what is just and right, then he can save his life.” God promises that if a person can cast aside his transgressions, He will give them a new spirit and a new heart.

Looking at his face in the mirror, John saw the wicked man he was. He was disgusted and ashamed of everything he’d done, all the people he’d hurt. At the next Bible study, he pleaded with the pastor: “How is it that this God can give someone like me a new heart, and new spirit?”

The Pastor shared the Gospel message with John in a very simple way. Back in his cell, he cried out to God for the first time. He didn’t know what to say, but he surrendered his life to Jesus, and in that moment, even though he’d spend another two years behind bars, he knew he’d be set free.

I was a free man. And Jesus has been rebuilding my life ever since.

John Lawson talks much more about his life of crime, and how his salvation changed him, in his conversation with Vision’s Eric Skatebo.

[audio src="https://getmediapoint.com/document/episode/podcast/MDAwMTQ5NzI1NC5tcDM.mp3" /]

He also tells his story in a new book, “If a Wicked Man”, which is available to buy in our Vision Christian Store.

Tune into Vision’s The Story for true testimonies from extraordinary people. Click here for your local times and more interviews.

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