Many children and young adults today struggle with building resilience and staying strong emotionally and mentally. With the many challenges they face, we need to find ways to support them in developing these crucial skills. But how can we help our kids build resilience? How do we allow our kids to fail and learn?
JC Action Sports works with thousands of teenagers and young adults across Australia every year, offering resilience courses in schools. By using the impact of extreme sports, they catch the attention of both churched and unchurched youth, sharing the love and salvation of Jesus.
Josh from JC Action Sports recently joined us on 20Twenty to share his passion for helping kids develop resilience. By combining fun activities with a Gospel message, he has found an effective way to connect with and reach kids.
Developing Resilience
‘We will always steer away from difficulty naturally towards what we perceive as safety,’ says Josh. ‘But when we’re developing resilience, it’s quite the opposite. You actually want to steer into a little bit of the angst and discomfort. Because pain is a process that teaches us more than comfort ever will.’
As a BMX rider, Josh has crashed many times. Yet he has learned valuable lessons from each experience. He teaches kids that everyone faces hard times and feels like quitting. But giving up is what hinders our growth. Pushing through tough times is the key to success.
‘One of the principles we teach kids in schools is that they actually have a choice,’ says Josh. ‘Difficulty is inevitable. And if you just give up when things get hard, you miss out on the best bit.’
The Importance of allowing kids to fail and learn
A century ago, parents didn’t shield their kids as much. While it’s important to protect kids, it’s also crucial to let them learn through experience. As a former youth pastor and chaplain, Josh has seen that creating a safe space for kids to try and fail is essential.
If kids feel unsafe, they can’t learn because they’re in fight or flight mode. ‘But if you feel safe, you can learn and you can connect with others and with God. But if you feel unsafe, you instantly lose that ability.’
As a parent himself, Josh often feels the need to step in and resolve his children’s arguments. But by doing this, his children don’t learn social cues or how to resolve conflicts on their own. Instead, they come to rely on him to fix things.
An Opportunity for Growth
‘But what happens if you let them work it out themselves?’, says Josh. ‘Then they’ve actually grown. They’ve learned something. By stepping in too early, we rob them of an opportunity for growth.’
Our young people have got to make the choice for themselves go not give up, and as parents we have to remember the importance of allowing kids to fail and learn. ‘If we just give up in the middle of the pain, we never get past it. We never overcome it.’
‘It’s like resurrection. If Jesus stayed in the grave and never overcame death, we would have lost out on so much. If there’s no good that’s come yet from our situation, then God’s not done.’
Listen to the full interview on 20Twenty below:
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