In this episode of The Spotlight, host Jen Spiker talks about the podcast series Sunburnt Souls, hosted by Dave Quak, a Baptist pastor who has bipolar disorder. The podcast looks at mental health topics with different guests, including Dave’s wife, Jess. She shares their experiences with mental illness in their marriage.
Jess talks about the good things about being married to someone with bipolar disorder, saying that Dave brings fun and excitement to their lives, even though there are challenges. Their home is lively and full of laughter, showing that mental health has both happy and tough moments.
‘Mental health does affect you,’ says Jess, ‘but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s going to be a negative effect. It’s just different. We each have our strengths and weaknesses. I kind of see mental health as a neutral thing. But what you choose to do with it can either be a positive thing, or something that’s harmful for you and those around you.’
The Unique Experience of Dealing with Mental Illness
Dave and Jess understand the unique experience of dealing with mental illness, where problems and strengths can exist at the same time. Jess mentions that all marriages have challenges, but they think it’s wrong to write off people with mental illness. They appreciate the growth and interests that come from Dave’s bipolar disorder, seeing it as a part of their life together.
Jess also notes that there can be some exciting moments during Dave’s manic phases. But they can also create hard times, especially when decisions are made quickly without thinking. Miscommunication can happen, making them feel like they’re against each other. They talk about the importance of faith and communication to get through these tough situations, learning to help each other without overstepping.
‘I go to God for my strength and sense of foundation,’ says Jess. ‘I think I probably do that maybe even more as a preservation thing. More than if I wasn’t married to someone with bipolar.’
Listen to Dave and Jess’s full conversation below: