Communication Principles (2)

‘...It is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!’ Proverbs 15:23 NLT

Here are three communication principles you should practise: (1) The principle of proper timing. Dr James Dobson says that love can perish when a man and wife forget how to talk to each other. But it’s equally important to say the right thing at the right time. If there’s something you want to discuss with your husband or wife, wait till the kids aren’t around. Don’t bring it up over dinner when everybody’s tired and hungry. When you must talk immediately, put down the newspaper, turn the TV off, walk away from the computer and give each other your full attention. (2) The principle of mirroring. ‘…Hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to…knowledge.’ (Proverbs 22:17 NKJV) Understanding increases when you measure it throughout the conversation. Have you ever said something to your partner and they heard something completely different? Mirroring lets you know you’re really communicating. When your spouse makes a point, respond by saying, ‘What I hear you saying is…’ or, ‘Are you saying…?’ Then rephrase what you think you heard and wait for affirmation or correction. It’s not about ‘being right’ and defending your position, it’s about making sure you’re ‘getting’ each other. (3) The principle of prayer. This is the most important one, because God is the only third partner in a marriage who can make it work. Dig the well before you get thirsty, by making a habit of praying together. RA Torrey says: ‘Many fail…because they wait until the hour of battle…others succeed because they’ve gained the victory on their knees long before…Anticipate battles, and fight them on your knees before they arise.’