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by Bob and Debby Gass
Growing Through Loss and Change (2)
June 17, 2010
‘A time to gain, and a time to lose...’ Ecclesiastes 3:6 NKJV
When hit by major life losses like divorce, the death of a family member, a life-threatening illness or disability, we must ‘work through’ them, not suppress them in an attempt to move on. Moving on prematurely carries the baggage of unresolved issues into future relationships and opportunities, inviting the past to repeat itself indefinitely. What is the process of working through a life-altering loss? Understanding these two things will help you: (1) Grief is the natural reaction to loss. Grief ‘buried’ is unfinished business. In the guise of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, etc., it’ll constantly resurrect itself in search of resolution, even if it takes years. (2) Mourning is the ‘work of grief’. God’s Word says, ‘[There is] …a time to mourn…’ (Ecclesiastes 3:4 NAS) That means He’s appointed a season with a definite beginning and ending in which He intends you to do the fruitful work of grappling with your painful feelings. How long does it take? As long as it requires-depending on how great the loss, how many resulting additional losses it generates, and the spiritual, relational and emotional health of the mourner. If we mourn scripturally, there’ll be ‘a time to dance’ again. If we allow ourselves the right to weep, there’ll be ‘a time to laugh’ again. (Ecclesiastes 3:4 NAS) The process God designed ultimately produces healing and readiness to reengage with life and the future. You’ll either complete your grief or repeat your grief. You’ve completed it when you can remember the loss without being immobilised by it!
SoulFood: Hosea 1-5, Luke 1:26-38, Ps 139:1-6, Pr 13:21-23
The Word for Today is authored by Bob and Debby Gass and published under licence from UCB International Copyright © 2010
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