The Most Important Skill You Can Teach Your Child (1)

‘…Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…’ Joshua 24:15 NIV

Good decision–making is the key to a happy life. But good decision–making is not a skill some of us are naturally blessed with, while poor decision–making is a handicap others seem to be born with. Courage, education or the ageing process don’t automatically produce better decision–makers. Spending time with good decision–makers is wise, but it doesn’t necessarily rub off on you. And the earlier you teach this skill to your children, the better (Proverbs 22:6). So teach your children the following principles: (1) The consequences you get are the result of the choices you make. Let your children know it’s not their circumstances, but decisions they make about them, that govern their lives. You may think your children know this, but they don’t. Their ‘wiring problem’ makes ‘cause and effect’ difficult to connect until their brain reaches late adolescence. Asking, ‘What were you thinking about?’ will just invite the famous shoulder shrug and blank stare. They’re not stupid—they just need guidance. (2) You will always have options. Children commonly feel powerless and hopeless when reacting to negative circumstances. They tend to be ‘either/or’ thinkers, concluding that things are either all good or all bad. Teach them ‘both/and’ thinking, because things can be bad yet you can choose to make good decisions about them. ‘Either/or’ thinking frequently produces children who become pessimistic, disempowered, easily manipulated, depressed adults. Knowing they always have good options prevents circumstances from dictating their lives.