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by Bob and Debby Gass
Too perfect for their own good (1)
November 16, 2009
‘Train up a child in the way he should go...’ Proverbs 22:6 NKJV
Do you have a child who has to do everything perfectly? They’re only happy in school when they get an ‘A.’ A ‘B’ depresses them. Driven by their own impossible standards they never feel ‘good enough’. Parent, here are ten traits to help you identify and deal with the perfectionist child: (1) They may over-function in pursuit of perfect results, becoming mislabelled as a young workaholic. (2) They may under-function to avoid the pain of anticipated failure, getting mislabelled as lazy. (3) They may avoid social contact to keep others from discovering their imperfections. (4) When they ‘ace’ an assignment, they can’t enjoy their success for worrying about failing their next one. (5) Fearing failure, they hesitate to try new things. (6) They over-focus on their mistakes. (7) They procrastinate, underachieve, leave work unfinished or quit before completion to evade failing. (8) To prevent criticism from others they’ll do almost anything including lie, rationalise, excuse themselves and blame others. (9) They’re often anxious and worried, anticipating the worst. (10) They may be subject to physical complaints like frequent headaches, stomach upsets, fatigue, eating problems, etc. Children don’t automatically know how to behave. Without your help their perfectionism can intensify, dominating them and diminishing the quality of their life. Parent, you are called and empowered by God to: ‘Train up your child in the way [they] should go and when they are older, it’ll stick with them’. God promises, ‘If any…lacks wisdom…ask God…and it will be given…’ (James 1:5 NIV) Talk to God, He knows about parenting!
SoulFood: 1 Chron 19:1-23:20, John 11:17-27, Ps 8, Pr 26:23-26
The Word for Today is authored by Bob and Debby Gass and published under licence from UCB International Copyright © 2009
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