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From Pastor’s Kid to Addict, and Back Again

by | Mon, Feb 3 2020

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Female drug addict

By age 14, Emily Duncan had lived in four countries, and attended 17 schools. When her missionary parents were serving in the Philippines, she grew embarrassed to be a Pastor’s kid, one of the only white children living in the slums.

Though her mother tried her best, maintaining structure and discipline was difficult in a third world country. Talking to Vision’s Shelley Scowen, Emily explained that she didn’t know who she was, and grew to resent her parents, and God, for the discomfort and confusion she felt.

God was taking my parents away from me, and God was more important than me.

[audio src="https://getmediapoint.com/document/episode/podcast/MDAwMTQ5NjE5Mi5tcDM.mp3" /]

“And God couldn’t be trusted, because I would always be praying that we would stay somewhere, or that I would be left behind somewhere, or even that I was adopted, and my real parents would come and find me. And God never answered any of my prayers.”

When they moved to Melbourne, Emily finally felt she could find stability. But soon enough her father broke his promise, and told her they’d been called to serve in New Zealand.

“I decided right then and there that I hated God, and I hated my parents, and I was going to do things my way from then on.”

By the time she arrived at her last school, Emily was so hurt and angry that she didn’t care how self-destructive her future would be. At 14, she started taking drugs, and wanted nothing more than to get a job so she could support her partying. She moved out of home at 16, and cut off all contact with her parents.

“Satan, come into my life,” she thought. “I want nothing to do with God anymore.”

Drugs

By her early 20s, Emily was using at least five different drugs every day. Her boyfriends were dealers, so she always had plenty of access, but her body was constantly resisting the poisons she tried to ingest, so she suffered constant bouts of vomiting, bleeding and infections.

Ice is one of the most dangerous and destructive drugs available, but when Emily first started using it, she felt like superwoman. “It uses this chemical in your brain that makes you feel that you are invincible, and you can do anything, and you feel more intelligent. You’ve got these great ideas, and you can function better, and you’re confident in how you speak and how you present. And then once all that chemical is used up, then begins the downhill spiral.”

Eventually, Emily started suffering psychosis and paranoia, and found that what had once helped her to function was wrecking her life. “I was left with depression and anxiety. I couldn’t even cope in social situations for at least a year after I’d stopped using ice.”

Emily eventually escaped hard drugs and an abusive relationship, and moved back to Australia. After several months, she regained her health and was able to work again, but she was still living in constant struggle.

Desperate to get back control of her life, Emily went to rehab, and never looked back. “I just completely broke off from all friends, all relationships, and started my whole life from scratch, and the only people I came in contact with were my immediate family.”

For her, the most important step was admitting she needed God’s help to get her through this process. “As soon as I said that, I felt relief, and I felt free. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, obviously having to confront all of the dysfunction, and find healthy ways to deal with it, and be vulnerable, and wear your issues and your heart on your sleeve.”

Part of her learning process was seeing her own dysfunction reflected in the nine other women she lived with. Together, they learned to discard the unhealthy coping strategies they’d been relying on.

Now when she faces adversity, Emily seeks God in her struggle. “Because at the end of the struggle, there’s growth. And so now I look at any struggle as a challenge, and there’s a solution.”

Emily now works for Transformations, the program that changed her life, supporting people like herself. She believes helping others is one of the keys to staying clean.

An addict’s core is selfishness. In order to fight that, you must be constantly giving, I believe.

“And so if someone dedicates their life to giving and loving other people around them, and not just keeping what they’ve been taught to themselves, but to then teach other people what they’ve been taught, it’s a recipe for a miracle. It’s a recipe for love.”

In her conversation with Vision’s Shelley Scowen, Emily spoke more about her work for Transformations, discussing the dangerous ice epidemic, and the growing challenge of preventing drug use in teenagers. For all that and more, listen to the podcast below.

[audio src="https://getmediapoint.com/document/episode/podcast/MDAwMTQ5NjE5Mi5tcDM.mp3" /]

Tune into Vision’s the Story for true testimonies from extraordinary people. Click here for your local times.

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