Tough love (2)

Yesterday, we looked at the most incredible words of forgiveness: ‘Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’ But what if they did know what they were doing to you? What if they weren’t even sorry? Are you still supposed to forgive even then? And if you do, does that mean you’re a doormat?
True forgiveness isn’t easy. It takes a lot of courage and a lot of time. In a way it’s not about them, it’s more about you. Forgiveness is about you freeing yourself from what has been done to you. Forgiveness is part of your healing. Forgiveness is your pathway to a future free of self-destruction.
Remember: by forgiving you’re not excusing, you’re releasing your pain. But where do you start? How can you forgive when all you feel is hatred? Firstly, acknowledge that ‘hatred’ is a feeling; you’re entitled to your feelings. Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling. Secondly, seek God on what to do with these feelings. God’s shoulder is infinitely big enough for you to cry on. Thirdly, ask God to help you with the impossible. Yes, by human standards forgiveness may be out of the question, but seek God on it and ask Him to bring you to a place where you can forgive. Finally, receive the goodness of God: ‘Heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.’ (Psalm 6:2 NLT)